Interesting Article

An article bringing awareness to some of the difficulties being encountered in the International Adoption world.

Agree to This...

Leann wants to be happy. Can you help her?

Celebrating Week 2

There are lots of great ways to share with your child and celebrate the significance of adoption. These are just a few that I came up with:

Read poems and books that tell the story of adoption. There are many great children's books out there. One of M's favorites is Yafi's Family. I do encourage you to preview any literature prior to sharing with your child, just to ensure that it is presenting adoption in an appropriate manner.

Consider writing a note to those that were involved in your family's adoption process. Share with them the joys and successes you are experiencing and thank them for the role they played.

What Adoption Means

David Would Love a Hug!

Who could resist loving on this little guy? Help David find a home filled with lots of hugs!

You Don't Have to be Perfect

Hallie Needs a Family!

You could help a child like Hallie find a family.....

Orphan Sunday

Recognizing and Sharing During National Adoption Month

Melissa Hovey wrote an article regarding National Adoption Month.

She shares some of her personal experiences with adoption. Check out the story here.

Celebrating Week 1

There are lots of great ways to share with your child and celebrate the significance of adoption. These are just a few that I came up with:

Regardless of whether or not your child is adopted, share their story of when they first joined your family. You can do this orally, or by creating a book complete with photos. M. has his own little book and loves to read through it.

Remember that this is a time to be grateful and advocate for others. Consider as a family how you might get the word out and encourage others to consider the blessing of adoption.

Find Darren a Home

You could help a child like Darren find a home....

The Numbers Don't Add Up

Nearly 460,000 children are in U.S. foster care.

Approximately 114,000 children in U.S. foster care are waiting to be adopted.

Annually, nearly 30,000 children age out of U.S. foster care.

There are close to 163 million orphans and waiting children worldwide.

It all begins with ONE:

ONE prayer

ONE foster family.

ONE adoptive family.

ONE child at a time.

National Adoption Month

Today marks the beginning of National Adoption Month.

I encourage you to take this month to consider daily, whether through thought or prayer, what your role is when it comes to providing for the needs of the many children found in foster care and waiting for adoption. Not only because this is a topic near and dear to my heart, but because it can make such a difference in the life of a child.

History of National Adoption Month:

Sixteen years ago President Clinton proclaimed November as National Adoption Month but its origins go back further than that back thirty five years for that matter. Back to then governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis who announced an Adoption Week for his state. Soon thereafter the even went national with Gerald Ford.

Adoption advocates realized, however, that more time is needed to raise awareness about the need for adoption and to hold adoption related events. So, in 1995, President Clinton made the event a month long observance.

Last year President Obama started off National Adoption Month with a proclamation: "Giving a child a strong foundation; a home, a family to love, and a safe place to grow is one of life's greatest and most generous gifts. Through adoption, both domestic and international, Americans from across our country have provided secure environments for children who need them, and these families have benefited from the joy an adopted child can bring. Thanks to their nurturing and care, more young people have been able to realize their potential and lead full, happy lives."

That statement about giving young people the ability "to realize their potential and lead full, happy lives" seems especially cogent after the recent death of Apple founder Steve Jobs. Most of the articles I read memorializing this man who changed the way the world experienced computers, listened to music, made and enjoyed movies, and realized the purpose of their phones, mention adoption only in passing. As an adoptive mother, I have asked myself whether Jobs would have achieved what he did, had the vision, confidence, and work ethic without the environment his adoptive parents provided during his formative years.

The iconic image of an apple with the bite out of it is such an apt metaphor for how Steve Jobs approached his life. I believe what the pundits have said about Jobs being remembered alongside the likes of Thomas Edison and Henry Ford.

The theme for National Adoption Month for 2011 is "Build Capacity to Make Lasting Change". No doubt that adoption made a lasting change on Steve Jobs life, as well as the rest of the world. And so, we should all ask ourselves how we can facilitate adoption so all kids can realize their potential.

(History was found here)

Ugh.

My heart is heavy.

I am not doing well with this whole waiting - wait longer - wait even longer thing.

Especially when I continue to hear and read about the famine in East Africa.

Early this week I was driving from one school to the next for work and on the radio a gentleman said, "Imagine having a child and not even naming it because you don't know if it will live beyond six weeks."

Ugh.

I can't take that right now. So I turned the radio off and just started crying. Crying and pleading that this desire to grow our family in this way will either go away, or that I will gain the strength needed to wait.

I just hate feeling helpless. I can't stop the famine. I can't do anything to speed up this adoption process.

Ugh.

I look at M., hug him a little tighter and PRAY that he doesn't talk about wanting a brother or sister. But then right as we are getting him ready for bed he asks me if we can pretend there is a baby in my belly and that it will be coming soon, because he really needs a baby.

Ugh.

I struggle to be around other families. Other women who are pregnant.

I struggle to read about families bringing their children home.

I struggle to think that this is going to work out, that the country will remain open, that the timing will be perfect, that the wait will only feel like a few short moments once we are finally home with our child.

I am struggling.....

Ugh.

Celebrating Two Years with Tree Hugging

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary since we brought M. home.

Two years. Two years! Time has flown by!

In addition to the many special stories and memories that were shared again this week, we headed out to a local nursery on Friday and bought an aspen tree.

I have always had this little idea/dream to plant a tree for each one of our children when they were born. Obviously, our children will be coming into our families at very different times and ways, so that might not work. But, two years is just as joyous of an occasion to put this idea into motion.

M. was filled with excitement about "his tree" and as soon as we set it on the ground, he started doing a little dance to celebrate. He was also sure it give it lots of hugs so it would grow big and strong like him. And because he is who he is, he was also sure to yell at anyone within walking distance that this was his tree and "No one can take it - even if you want it!" Dinner was even interrupted a few times as we "checked" on the tree to make sure it was doing okay.

So here is to M. May you grow big and strong. May you become deeply rooted and receive all the nourishing that you need. Love you little man!

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today we met M. for the first time.

(September 18, 2011 - Two years after first meeting M.)

We spent some time remembering those special moments today.

As we reread our journal entries from that day (feel free to read our entries from last year as we spend this week remembering our time in Ethiopia), our hearts are filled with emotions and gratitude for the past two years. It hasn't always been easy and we haven't always had all the answers, but those first moments of seeing M. are still so clear in our minds and we are so thankful that he is our son.

There are many moments over the past two years where I felt that I have no patience left in me, no tolerance left for the energy and friendliness, no freaking idea how I am suppose to raise this beautiful boy in a way that won't destroy him and mess him up....

But, somehow in those moments, I gain glimpses of the beauty of having this little boy as my son. I gain glimpses of the many, many lessons that are being thrown at me to learn through his heart. When he cuddles up next to me, calls me his princess, and creates rules that involve hugs my heart swells knowing that he is absolutely perfect for me - even in the most challenging moments.

Ugh.

We've had some interesting conversations these past few days with the little man about his race.

Comments have been made at school and long story short, it is impacting his heart and how he views himself.

My heart breaks for him and my eyes well up with tears even as I write this. I want nothing more than for my sweet boy to feel like he belongs and is beautiful. I want him to be confident in who God created him to be and never think that he falls short or is the wrong color.

So this is what is keeping me up at night. This is what I am now currently trying to teach myself all about.

"Individuals of any race or culture do not outgrow the longing to be connected - to have a sense of belonging, to be with others who are "just like me," and to know they are a part of a broader community." (Excerpt from Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits)

You just forget how privileged you are to be white until something like this smacks you in the face.

An Update!

Just received an e-mail that our dossier has been received in Ethiopia.

We are one step closer to meeting our newest family member!!!!!

Now we just have to keep waiting for a referral. But don't worry it has only been one month and 7 days - we still have a ways to go.

Comments

Going through the process of adoption can be a journey that allows you to have some interesting interactions with a lot of people. I don't know if this happens with other parents, but we get some very personal questions asked of us by complete strangers. We also hear a lot of people's opinions about what we are doing.

We currently have some friends of ours navigating through a very difficult decision and as I have spent time listening to their struggles and trying to encourage them, I am dumbfounded by the liberty some people feel they can take in telling them what should or shouldn't be done.

I found a blog post here that gives a glimpse into some of the things people feel they need to say to families. Definitely hard to believe - but it makes me so thankful for the times when people are sensitive and caring.

Here are some things that people have said to us:

Us - "We're adopting from Ethiopia!"

Person - "Are you going to get a child that is white or will they not let you have that choice?"

Another Person - "Is it going to be white?"

Person - "Are you babysitting?"

Me - "No, this is my son."

Person - "Oh, is your husband an athlete at the University?"

Person after finding out M. is adopted - "Well thank goodness you were able to get him out of that horrible situation and place."

Person - "So did you adopt because you can't have any real kids?" (As if M. is just a toy or pretend child?!)

After introducing M.

Person -"So with a weird name like that, where did he come from?"

Please Watch.

If you are not aware of the famine currently taking place in the Horn of Africa - please educate yourself and take action. This is not something that we should sit by and watch happen. If you are unsure of what to do, ask...... so much can be done and needs to be done.

Searching

I have found myself looking at photos of Ethiopia and searching for people who have any resemblance to our little man.

I have found myself looking at photos of Ethiopia and searching for our children.

I have found myself looking and searching a lot lately....

Done!

We sent off our dossier today!!!

It has been an incredibly long journey - much longer than I thought it would be the second time around. This has made this process a much more frustrating one than the first. Ugh.

So now all we can do is wait and hope that the days and months pass quickly until we lay eyes on our child for the first time and then get to wrap our arms around them.

Trying Not to Panic

I am trying not to panic.

I am trying to remind myself that this process,

this journey of adoption is

and always will be

out of my control.

It's a journey of trusting

Of relying on things happening

EXACTLY

when they are meant to happen.

NOT when I want them to happen.

But, even knowing this

I am trying not to panic.

I am trying not to start speculating all that could be

all that might happen

all that will hurt

take more time

and

keep us from our little one.

I am trying not to second guess our decision

the prayers of our son

the prayers of our hearts.

I am trying...

And it Begins....

I read an update e-mail from our agency tonight that stated approximate wait times for the current adoptions.

I grew discouraged.

I don't want to wait that long. I don't want to be away from my baby that long. I don't want to wait to hold them, know them, love them.

So as the tears started to swell, I looked at our little man and reminded myself of God's perfect timing to bring him into our lives. How despite the pain of the wait, it was well worth it and that the joy of finally being with him far surpassed the pain of waiting for him.

So tonight I will wait for you.