Friday, March 11, 2011

Trying Not to Panic

I am trying not to panic.

I am trying to remind myself that this process,
this journey of adoption is
and always will be
out of my control.

It's a journey of trusting
Of relying on things happening
EXACTLY
when they are meant to happen.

NOT when I want them to happen.

But, even knowing this

I am trying not to panic.

I am trying not to start speculating all that could be
all that might happen
all that will hurt
take more time
and
keep us from our little one.

I am trying not to second guess our decision
the prayers of our son
the prayers of our hearts.

I am trying...