I am not doing well with this whole waiting - wait longer - wait even longer thing.
Especially when I continue to hear and read about the famine in East Africa.
Early this week I was driving from one school to the next for work and on the radio a gentleman said, "Imagine having a child and not even naming it because you don't know if it will live beyond six weeks."
Ugh.
I can't take that right now. So I turned the radio off and just started crying. Crying and pleading that this desire to grow our family in this way will either go away, or that I will gain the strength needed to wait.
I just hate feeling helpless. I can't stop the famine. I can't do anything to speed up this adoption process.
Ugh.
I look at M., hug him a little tighter and PRAY that he doesn't talk about wanting a brother or sister. But then right as we are getting him ready for bed he asks me if we can pretend there is a baby in my belly and that it will be coming soon, because he really needs a baby.
Ugh.
I struggle to be around other families. Other women who are pregnant.
I struggle to read about families bringing their children home.
I struggle to think that this is going to work out, that the country will remain open, that the timing will be perfect, that the wait will only feel like a few short moments once we are finally home with our child.
I am struggling.....
Ugh.
