Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Wrestling with the Wait

It has been a long time since I last posted....

That is because there hasn't been much going on besides waiting,

and waiting,

and waiting.

The wait is.... bittersweet.

Some days the wait is fine because I am able to block out completely all that is weighing heavy on my mind and heart. I am able to enjoy every moment with the beautiful son that has already blessed my life beyond imagination. I am able to focus completely on the now.

Other days the wait feels like a burden that can find no comfort. These are the days when I want to withdrawal from people, when my heart aches for our little one(s), when I can't stomach looking at another baby, finding out that once again another person is pregnant. These are the days when I want to shed tears for the faces the haunt my mind as they wait. These are the days when I want to scream that this is a great need in our world and people should perhaps care a little less about their first world problems and a little more about the world - especially the church. I can't even begin to tell you how saddened I am that it is the month of November (National Adoption Month) and very little, if anything has been mentioned. What are we advocating for then?!

The wait.

Unfortunately this extended period of waiting in my life has done very little to change how I deal with the wait. I think of those that have waited longer, those that waited 40 years for God's promise.

I hope we don't have to wait 40 years.